The Golden Rule

Have you ever had an epic, turning-point week? Maybe you passed a big test, had an important doctor's appointment, received good news about a job interview, or someone came home safely after a long journey. Our family had all of these things happen!

I think the most inspiring conversation that happened this week was with my mother's surgeon. She had her sixth month assessment to determine if she was ready to have the second phase surgery to have the ostomy reversed. The doctor didn't recognize her. The last time she had been to see him, she was in a wheelchair and honestly looked pretty rough. She was told to gain weight and work on getting her strength back. He made it very clear that she wouldn't have the second surgery if she wasn't, at least, as strong as she was before her illness. When she came home, I had to lift her in and out of bed, help her dress, prepare her food, dispense her medicine and assist with basic hygiene needs. Today she does almost everything on her own. We've returned the wheelchair and she takes her dog on a walk at least once a day. Because she had worked so hard, it was a little disheartening that the doctor had to leave the room to read her history to continue our discussion. This appointment was the single goal my mother had for the past 7 months. It was her first thought in the morning and the last thought before she fell asleep. ~He returned after only a few minutes and said, "now I remember you!" He recalled many of the horrible details of being in the ICU for 3 weeks. That is when he told us about the Golden Rule.

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you..."     Matt 7:12

I think it is important to understand a doctor's mindset and his philosophy about having someone's life in their hands. Is it a speed competition or does he see himself and his patient as being one? He proceeded to tell us that his peers often criticize him for being so slow with his surgeries. He said he doesn't care what they think, because of the Golden Rule. And, if they are going to give him such hard time, they need to get it right. He isn't slow, he is thorough. His anxiety, confidence, and success are his patients anxiety, confidence and success. He was once asked if he could operate on his child and he said "yes, because I have the same approach with everyone. There isn't anything I would do different for my child than what I would do for one of my patients." This boils down to trust.

He was open and honest about the complexity of the surgery and discussed potential complications with a backup plan if any problem became a reality.  We didn't feel rushed, we had our questions answered in detail and walked out satisfied that we found the right person to do this. We see him as a person, a partner, not just the surgeon that was on-call.

I think the take-away from this is, do you trust your doctor? Do they follow the Golden Rule? It is critical to have this Golden relationship with your doctor, your caregiver, your financial advisor. Don't settle for anything less.