Saturday, May 14, 2016

Road Trip!

Have you ever wanted to jump in the car and keep on driving? Just gas it up and go...
Then you find yourself in the middle of traffic, defensively watching for rude and distracted drivers, finding nothing but commercials on your favorite radio station, and realize you forgot snacks and your sun glasses. Ugh! Forget it, just focus on what needs to be done and do it.

It's been 9 months since my last post. My mother has moved in with friends and seems to be looking forward to the first independence from caregiving in over a decade. While she was an RN for 57 years, caring for someone 24/7 without appreciation, a break or compensation is different on so many levels. I know because I got a taste of it. Now I'm trying to pick up where I left off before my mothers illness 20 months ago and I get it. I think people have sympathy for what you go through, but unless they have had a disrupted life, --something that turns your world upside down for an extended period of time, they don't get it.


Image result for road construction signConstruction and Detours: Google insisted on backing up my pictures today. I decided to pick my battles and just went with it. There were so many forgotten pictures of my Grandmother it was like she was saying "don't forget about me!" In a few days it will be the first anniversary of my Grandmothers death and we have unfinished business. We still need to deliver her ashes to the mausoleum next to my Grandfather. She paid for it years ago and even had her name inscribed.  This is on our priority list and may be a reason why I haven't found work yet. Detours in life are tricky and sometimes it means you can't get in the fast lane until the road work (journey) is completed.

Toll Roads and Flat Tires: You may not notice the world changing if you have been in a slow lane for awhile. I've spent the past several months explaining to perspective recruiters and employers why I've been out of work (a traditional job) for the past 2 years. Dealing with a family situation seems to be more "acceptable" than in the past, which is good. The bad part is that there is a price you pay for being in that slow lane. Everything is electronic now and unless you can get a recruiter to read your cover letter, get a face-to-face at a job fair, or find an active network that has more than just unemployed people attending, your kind of stuck. If you are rusty, get the symbolic jack and tire iron out and fix it. It would be so easy to start a rant on this topic. Re-entering the workforce after an extended leave is unfamiliar, uncomfortable and a steep uphill road, but I'm hopeful it won't be impossible (with encouragement and guidance). ~Working through this now.


Scenic Vistas and Rest Stops: This seems to be a turning point. My parents are in their golden years and are fragile. Being an unexpected caregiver or advocate will test your leadership, patience, endurance and financial limits. What I have learned is that you need a balance. Balance so that your passions don't become drudgery and so that you can recharge mentally, physically and spiritually. Take a step back to enjoy the view even if it is just for a few minutes.



Neglect Your Garden - Get Weeds...Or Do You?


    Its been a very long time since my last post. It was important for me to take a break to gather my thoughts and determine next steps. I was coming up on a 12 month deadline to take a Project Management Professional certification test, so I restudied and passed the exam. I spent 8 months looking for work and became very frustrated with the whole job search and interview process in California. Being laid off no longer has the stigmatizm it once had, but a 24 month job gap is very challenging to explain if you can get past the online application systems. Once you are able to explain you needed time off to take care of family, it is understood. *Don't give too many details, and make sure to emphasize that all is good now and promise there won't be future disruptions. Don't be shocked. I was asked and advised. 




    I recently returned to our empty house in the Dallas area since our renter situation didn't work out. As luck would have it, Texas is successfully recruiting large companies to relocate their headquarters which is creating a thriving economic situation. More to come on my job search journey...post caregiver assignment.
      
    I started addressing the weeds in my former garden this morning after 2 years of neglect. They were so tight it was hard to get the shovel in to loosen things up. My husband suggested I spray everything with weed killer to make things easier. I'm not known for doing things the easy way and I don't like to put chemicals in my vegetable and flower beds. To my surprise, in between the pig weed, dandelions, wild grass and every other weed type known in the continental US, I found hundreds of baby carrots! The dirt had worms and the beds were hosting hundreds of ladybugs. It was like everything was waiting for me.

    Today life isn't quite the same, but there are remnants of some of the good things that were left behind. I still had to do the work of turning over the dirt in order to discover multiplied treasures. Weed killer might have been fast but so much would have been missed. Sometimes what seems like neglect is just a recovery period. Don't be out of the game so long that the weeds get the upper hand. Take just enough time gain the strength to move on. What do you like to do with carrots??